Author’s note: This is a satire article and does not include accurate information concerning COVID-19. For up-to-date information, visit the Center for Disease Control’s website or check out the Niner Times’ more factual reporting.
Unprecedented, uncertain: Both novel words to describe the novel coronavirus. The past year has been a confusing time for all of us, but at least UNC Charlotte has made each decision with nothing but science in consideration. As we move closer to herd immunity and the end of the school year, let’s review some of the policies that have saved us all.
Enter most UNC Charlotte buildings, and you will find arrows on the floor indicating which direction you should walk. They follow a complex epidemiological concept called “walk on the right.” This concept stems from the 100% scientific fact that COVID-19 aerosol transmission only occurs in one direction. This way, when you pass